Shorter Excerpts

Jul 23 2008 ∞

I’m offering a shiny nickel (year: 2004, with Lewis and Clark on the back) to anyone who can convince me (and anyone else remotely interested) that sub-prime mortgages repackaged as CDOs* are a safer bet than your average sports wager made in Vegas.

(And yet one is illegal—technically—in almost every state…)

*Will’s Finance for English Majors Quick Definition of a Collateralized Debt Obligation: fancy Wall Street bullshit for “betting that a whole bunch of people pay enough back on their sub-prime home loans+interest”.

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“ Wall Street got drunk, and now it’s got a hangover.
—

Our President, ladies and gentlemen [NYP] (via peterwknox)

Honestly, that would be embarrassing if he was just was some guy you knew, who said it to some other friend.

But he’s our goddamn PRESIDENT. This is a whole other level of fundamental embarrassment. Existentially mortified.

(via thewordunheard)

On the other hand, it’s made me realize it can’t be that hard to get an MBA from an Ivy League school (aside from, you know, paying for it.)

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Rise of the 'gastrosexual'

siddman:

Dubbed ‘Gastrosexuals’ this new generation of men consider cooking more a hobby than a household chore and use their kitchen prowess to impress friends and prospective partners.

Men having the ability to cook is also now a key factor in attracting women along with salary, status, personality and appearance, according to new research.

Much like your job title, cooking something fancy is far more likely to impress women already out of college.  Not that I got sick of hearing things like “Beef Wellington?  What’s that?” in college or anything.

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Jul 22 2008 ∞

Curse the 90s, Gawker, and Chris Berman.

Because of all three, I will always (at least in my head, if not out loud) want to refer to one of Julia Allison’s pals as Meghan “Brimful of” Asha.  On a 45.

(And, thanks to the internet, I can find out 11 years later that there was a lot more going on in that song that I thought as a wee youth. And I have a sudden urge to read about Zoroastrianism, whilst listening to Strauss.  Which sounds like something I shall need to procure a snifter of port to get through.)

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skeetonmischa:

chuckmore:

skeetonmischa:

To be fair, here’s the women/girls of the first “90210”, not that hot.

But dude, look at those stems on Donna.

Granted nice stems, but Donna is the picture book definition of a butterface.

And Shannon offers up yet another example of why straight across bangs are almost never a good look for like 99% of women.

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sarahchristine:

Gallery | Bush visits metro Atlanta | ajc.com

It looks as if Mr. President is being handed a basket of UGA paraphenalia. Thanks a lot.

On behalf of at least 90% of the UGA Alums I know, let me state for the tublrverse: this man does not represent us.

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Old Guys & Young Girls: I Hate You

sarahchristine:

shorterexcerpts:

While I agree with your overall point (focus on you, not what you can’t controll) you kind of prove one of Knox’s points too.

Also, can we try and cut back on the generalizations (I’m speaking to everyone here). After all ladies, Paul Janka technically is an older guy who “knows what he wants,” and I really hope none of y’all would date an asshat like that (see also, Page, John Fitzgerald.)

Pshaw. I was joking about the money thing. I’m just poooooooor and the stress is eating away my brain cells and all my moral misgivings about prostituting myself (half kidding).

Damn.  My fiendish attempts at stirring the pot to speed up what may be the slowest work week in my life have failed.

So far…

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A Caveat

Before you go considering any advice I dole out w/r/t relationships, keep in mind:

1. I proudly wear the label of “picky as hell” as far as dating goes.

2. I haven’t been on anything remotely date-ish in months.

3. I’ve basically said “fuck it, I don’t have time for this shit” as far as dating goes (temporarily.)

Getting out of my current job, into a better one, and going to grad school (which could start as early as next February, and take place 12,000 miles away) those things take priority.

And if I’m not going to be in Atlanta in 6 months: what’s the point?

I know that if I did get attached, I’d put her first, put my plans on the back burner and then hate myself for it later.

Besides: getting laid is easy.

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Old Guys & Young Girls: I Hate You

sarahchristine:

peterwknox:

[an unprovoked off-topic rant by yours truly]

Is it money? Yes, older men typically have more. Is it experience? By nature, older men have a monopoly on such. Is it for your career? For a big house? Fancy trips and travel? Diamonds and luxury items? Hot tickets and open doors? Bottle service and spa trips? Everything seems centered around the “older men have more money and resources to spend on the young girls in exchange for their sex and company” theory.

Here’s a thought: instead of wondering why girls want to date older guys, why don’t you ponder why girls wouldn’t want to date a younger guy (namely, you)? I don’t know why a girl wouldn’t date you, but dwelling on girls and what they could possibly see in older men is the wrong tact. Try to grow a little. What can you do to set yourself apart from the endless amount of bullshit artists that populate the 20-something set? We date older men because they’re more mature, they’re more open with their feelings, they don’t play stupid games, they’re more willing to give of themselves (and their money), and many know a good thing when it comes along. Too many guys I know have no fucking clue what they want, and focusing on why a younger girl likes an older guy isn’t going to help them get laid any faster. Focus on maturing, not being fickle, being emotionally available and being able to say: this is what I want — definitively, strongly, securely.

But as always, for some I’m sure it’s all about money, and as a broke person: I get that.

While I agree with your overall point (focus on you, not what you can’t controll) you kind of prove one of Knox’s points too.

Also, can we try and cut back on the generalizations (I’m speaking to everyone here).  After all ladies, Paul Janka technically is an older guy who “knows what he wants,” and I really hope none of y’all would date an asshat like that (see also, Page, John Fitzgerald.)

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“ There is no secret that women are usually at their most attractive stage in life just before, during, and just after their twenties…
—

Knox, who for that remark, will get a swift kick in the groin next time i see him. (via nudawn)

I’ve had my fair share of girls, but I much prefer the company of a woman.

(via soupsoup)

Ok, okkkkkk. Put the fangs, knives, and torches away; in order for a column to work one must speak in generalizations. I hadn’t had time to run research or crunch numbers, but in the “trying out for Ms. Universe” sense, this age group must contain the largest number of offenders for getting with “old dudes” as per my post. NOT my personal close minded opinion. AND I said “usually” to even further my point. I’m against this older man/younger woman thing on the basis that your peer would be more compatible for you.

(via peterwknox)

But I’d say the largest “younger women dating old guys” happens between say 23-28.  Once a woman’s made it to 30 and realized that, no, her life isn’t going to fall apart just because she’s not married, plus by then there’s a good career going—they’re doing fine.

I think the bigger issue is the golddigging one.  I used to hate it to.  But here’s a thought to help you say “fuck it”:

Would you honestly want to date any woman more interested in your bank account and the size of your check stub than you?

If, when describing an ex, his salary, or the size of his condo, or what luxury car he drove is one of the first traits mentioned, run, don’t walk, away from that girl.

I’d also wager that Manahattan has a higher statistical # of gold-diggers.  The rents are higher, plus there’s just more rich folks (see also: Los Angeles.)

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via farm4.static.flickr.com
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“ The 60’s began with three martini lunches and ended with cubicles? What a shitty decade.
—

It Only Takes Three Walls To Confine Your Soul

Yet another thing I’m blaming on the Boomers.

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ALERT ALERT!

juliaallison:

Man moving into the 2 bedroom down the hall! Has flat screen! And dog! Doorman reports no sight of woman nearby. Movers confirm.

PLAN OF ATTACK TBD!

As a firm believer in the “don’t shit where you eat” dating policy, let me add:

“Countdown to ‘Awkwardly avoiding each other in the hallway to follow’” to the above.

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skeetonmischa:

The girls of “90210” 2.0, not hot.

To be fair though, how hot were the ladies of the original cast?  Remember, all-growed up Kelly Kapowski Tiffany Amber-Theissen wasn’t an original cast member, and 90s fashion trends weren’t doing Shannon Dohrety and Jeanie Garth a lot of good.

That said the brunette in green really needs to eat more—it looks like the other two are holding her up.

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“Best Thing You Never Had” by Butch Walker (via aristocrap)

And damn, it’s only Tuesday…

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